Delerious Rantings And So On..., FRANKENTITS!

1
12
Apr

FRANKENTITS!

They’re ALIVE! Muwhahahaha…

So… There comes a time when guys and/or girls are interested in you post-mastectomy… but its like what do you say? How do you explain things? It is really just an odd situation to find oneself in… Especially in my case where my tissue expanders are fully inflated and I honestly look perfectly normal, like my old self, with a bra and shirt on. In some ways I am slightly envious of women who are in a solid relationship or marriage going thru these surgeries, although I realize that probably has its own set of complications and fears too.

So last night I think I may have scared a guy a little when I referred to them as “FrankenTits” (I found this word to be super hilarious)… he promptly quit the txt conversation we had going when I explained that my boobs don’t really look like “real breasts” at the moment and that instead of a nipple, I’ve got a 5” horizontal scar. But then again… what do “real breasts” actually look like… everyone is different and there are lots of quirky boobies out there!

Which is entirely aside from the point, I’m kind of a whatever will be, will be, sort of gal… so if the “FrankenTits” freak people out… that is their problem that they do not have the openness to accept my body, battle scars-n-all.

And I’m a little leery about the concept of sex and my body being viewed (which for people who know me well is something totally and unbelievably out of the norm for me) Especially right now, maybe I’ll be one day be a whorrific exhibitionist again, but right now I feel sort of odd about sharing my body with others because its not finished… it is an on going work in progress. There is still the DIEP surgery and nipple reconstruction left to go.

I used to feel the same way about showing some of my unfinished paintings to people. To look at an incomplete work of art is to get a rather inaccurate viewing. And then when you do finally see the finished masterpiece, the problem is that your memory can still recall the semi-finished project and that can affect how you view the finalized version.

So these are the questions and thoughts that are currently bouncing around my mind… What is dating life like post-mastectomy?
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